“The earth is filled with your love, Oh God;
teach me your decrees”
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Love. We tend to think of love as something that can be obtained. As such, it’s also something we can lose. Therefore, we fail to realize how faithfully, permanently, and unconditionally God loves us.
We think of romantic love as falling in love, which is a clichéd way of saying that we’re obtaining a love relationship. Thus, we think of spousal love as maintaining the love we found during the premarital relationship. And when love gets lost in the earthquake of hardships – which happens in every marriage – we think the relationship is ending and we need to escape from the torture of remaining with someone who doesn’t love as they should.
But love isn’t something we can obtain or maintain or lose. Love simply “is”. God is love. God is not something we can obtain. We already have God, even when we don’t believe in God. God already exists, never had a beginning, never can die. God is the “I Am”. God is with us even when we don’t want to be with him. God’s love is with us even when we don’t deserve it. Because: It’s impossible for God to cease being God and for love to cease being loving.
In marriage (and every other type of relationship), we can’t obtain or lose love. What we can do, however, is choose to live in what already exists – even when the feeling of being loved is missing. Or we can choose to ignore its existence and to claim that it’s gone, thus justifying our desire to escape from the pain of feeling unloved.
Marriages that survive hardships are based on the reality that love is permanently present, even when we cannot feel it, because God is love and God is with us and it’s impossible for God to be otherwise.