Creativity is a wonderful thing. God created us in his image. I create excuses to avoid
ironing. The children create stories about who really left the mess in the sink. And my
husband, Ralph, creates inventive ways to solve problems.
When Ralph was a radar specialist in the Air Force some years ago, he was known as
Ralph The Worm. He achieved this rank because he fixed everything his buddies couldn't
(due to the fact that the proper parts had not been invented) by holding together
state-of-the-art technological wonders using worm clamps.
More recently, he invented a new variation of the piña colada drink. Actually, every
time he mixes the drink, it's a new invention. The main ingredient he relies on is vanilla
ice cream, which he whips up in the blender along with whatever else comes to mind.
Although the flavor is quite different than the pina colada drink you'd expect from a real
bartender, it does taste yummy. It has caused our guests to raise their eyebrows and
question what they're sipping.
"Is it a milkshake?"
"No."
"Is there an antidote?"
On one particular evening, as the blender whirred and whipped some of Ralph's special
mix, Ralph discovered we were out of vanilla ice cream. Undaunted, he rummaged through the
refrigerator in search of a suitable substitute, eager to create yet another new
invention. His gaze fell upon a container of sour cream.
Aha, he thought. Sour cream is the same color as vanilla ice cream! And they
both use the word "cream."
When he handed the concoction to me and our friends, he smiled like nothing unusual had
transpired in the blender. And he said nothing. We, however, said quite a lot after the
first gulp, such as, "Get me an antidote!"
Inventions are like that. They often go sour. Look at all the inventions which are
destroying the planet. Look at all the inventions which distract us from God, such as
couches placed strategically in front of television sets, Sunday hours at shopping centers
and, of course, housework.
It's interesting that most inventions were designed to save time -- cars, microwave
ovens, laundry machines -- and yet we're busier now than ever. We seem to have less
time for praying and reading the Bible and attending a Christ-centered seminar. Inventions
have become our gods. We need to repent of the sin of idolatry.
One new invention that mixes up our priorities, which was described in an article
clipped for me by a considerate reader, is freeze-drying your favorite dead pet. The way
it works is, if you can't live without your dead pet but you're willing to be separated
from it for the several months it takes to vacuum all the moisture out of its aged and
decrepit body, you can watch your aged and decrepit pet curl up in a life-like nap
forever.
Personally, I don't know what all the fuss is about. My live dog stays curled up on one
spot forever, usually right where my feet are. But let's think of all the benefits of this
alternative to taxidermy.
Please stand by. I'm still thinking.
What do you do if you get tired of watching your beloved pet play Permanent Freeze Tag?
Put him out on the yard sale table?
